Cindy

[kurtsietz]

Date: September 21st 2004
(Or 1 day before the crash)

:: Writing this because I love to write and I wanted to make a story that displays my theories (more like opinions about where the direction I would like the show to take) about the show ::

::SPOILERS: If you have not read Bad Twin, or seen season 2 then you should stop right now and go watch/read said
materials ::

That damned ring tone...

I answered the phone abruptly, I knew who it was before the call was even sent.  Only one person would be calling me at this hour.

"Gary..."

"Hey, Cindy!! Please, I need-"

"Gary, how many times do I have to tell you, STOP CALLING ME!!!"

I slammed the phone shut and threw it against the wall, falling back into my bed.  It was the fourteenth time he'd called me this week, but I didn't want to talk to him, especially not NOW of all times.  I walked into the bathroom and ran the tap for a few minutes, staring into the mirror, feeling the water heat up.  I splashed my face and rubbed my cheek bones for a minute.

I'm so tired...

Another flight today, my last flight thankfully.  It's about time I went back to my old job, what I was meant to do.  I zipped up my pack and grabbed a large portion of fruit on my way out.  I looked into the mirror before I left, heavy bags drooped under my eyes.  How many nights had I gone without even 2 hours of sleep? I couldn't wait to return to the island.  I couldn't wait to smell the fresh air and...

Gary...

I can't stop thinking about him...why did he insist on going on this flight? Was this THEIR doing? Did they find out about my unrequited love affair with an inhabitant of the world? Did they think I was incapable of such feelings?  These matters among others occupied my mind for the past week.  I told Gary I wouldn't speak to him until he decided to stay in Australia with me, but he refused under all circumstances.  I don't blame him, we aren't exactly dating and although I'm in love with him I'm not sure he feels the same way about me.  From my pocket my pager beeped.  I took it out and quickly read the number. 

Finally!

It was the first form of communication I had gotten from THEM in over three months, I was pleased to say the least.  I rushed to the cupboard and, chewing the last piece of fruit, reached behind the bread (which I thought was the perfect hiding place) for my pre-paid phone. I called the number.
__________________________________________________________

"Sharon?"

"Huh? OH...Hey" I couldn't believe I forgot my own name, it was refreshing to hear it but the thought of being known as Cindy any longer scared me.

"Dammit Ethan, you know not to call me that."

"Sorry sorry, so how's it going out there?"

"It's fabulous..." I lied.

"Really? I bet you can't wait for tomorrow."

"I miss you guys so much, I can't wait to get back into the swing of things."

"Oh....about that..."

"..." I knew things were too good to be true.

"I just got off the walkie with Ben, you are to stay with the tail section survivors until we get you."

"What? Ethan this is ridiculous!"

"No, it's not.  We need you to make sure everything goes as planned."

"I thought-"

"If you do well enough, you can replace Goodwin."  My heart raced.   To have Goodwin's title, to be in his position...how amazing would that be.  It had been my aim since I first stepped onto the island and realized it's unique aroma.  It was worth the price, I would agree completely.  I hung up with Ethan and left my apartment for the last time.  I locked the door and walked down the stairs.  I started the engine to my car and drove off.  To think this was the last time I'd be stuck in rush hour traffic...the last two years had been hell on earth, literally. Thoughts of Gary had completely left my mind, at least for now.

-End-

[kurtsietz]

Date: September 22, 2004
I woke up in the ocean, the last thing I remember was looking for Gary in the rear end of the plane; then I blacked out. I swallowed nearly a gallon of salt water before making it to shore.  There was twenty, maybe thirty people scattered on the beach as I crawled on the sand and rested on my back.  The tide washed along my ankles, it was refreshing. I saw Libby emerging from the ocean; I never knew her, she was one of the new recruits who joined us a year after I returned to th world. I remember coming here now and then with Colleen, it was one beautiful island. I rested my hand against my forehead and closed my eyes, and a man approached me.

"Excuse me..." I looked up into his eyes. "Would you look after the children?" It was shocking, I'd never seen a child on the island before. "There's something I have to do." They were so innocent, they didn't deserve to be here; I knew they'd be safe soon, but until then they needed me.

I nodded softly. "O-Okay" I replied, unsure of my answer.

"Stay with this nice woman" He whispered to them...I'll be back in a minute." The man walked into the ocean and began retreiving the bodies.
___________________

[kurtsietz]

Date: September 23, 2004

"We need to get off the beach." She proclaimed. "We need to find a safer place." She was right, but I couldn't let
them leave the beach, it was to crucial for the days to come that this group stays on the beach.

"We've got kids, and people who are seriously hurt. Where are we gonna go? Hm?" A man debated her. "How we gonna move them? And what about the signal fire? How are we all gonna get rescued if we're off the beach?"

"Nathan's right" Goodwin replied.  He was good, but I was better. I'd save us from Ana's scheme to head further inland.

"They have satelites, the black box. We don't need a fire for them to find us." I had to interfere.

"Yes, we do.  Before the crash, the pilot said we'd lost communication. We turned back.  We were flying for two hours in the wrong direction, they don't know where to look."

This was of coarse a complete lie, for we had been flying in the wrong direction during the entire flight.  But with all the crew members dead besides me, there was no way to disprove this.  Goodwin sent a glare my way, I wonder if he knew I'd be replacing him soon.  I tried to hide my grin as I walked through the sand.

[kurtsietz]

Date: Sunday, October 3, 2004

:: Spoiler Warning: If you haven't seen the episode "The Other 48 Days" You will have no clue what this is about and will be spoiled so please go watch it now, it's a great episode!! ::

I couldn't sleep; my mind was still racing with the conversation I had last night.

*Flashback*

I felt the wet leaf slap me in the face as I rushed through the jungle.  I couldn't wait to meet up with Colleen, I had so much to tell her with such little time.
 I finally reached the clearing specified in my memo.

"It's about time you showed up."

I couldn't help myself. "COLLEEN!!!" I shouted, hugging her extatically.

"Jesus, would you calm down? And keep quiet, they're out there."

"Look's like nothing's changed in two years..."

"You'd be surprised how little can change over time; just look at Richard." I couldn't help but laugh. She rested her hand on my knee and smiled. "God, I've missed our chats.  The past two years have been crazy; where were you? I heard you were on the plane that crashed."

"It didn't just crash Colly, Ben's more involved than you think. I don't know much but that guy from the Swan is dead."

"Did anyone take his place?"

"Yes, Libby made sure of that. Are you guys coming to take me tomorrow night?"

"No, Ben wants the kids; we need as many people as we can get.  Ben recruited a researcher for our fertility problem; so many of our women are dead...she's no help at all. Sabine..."

"Don't tell me..."

"She's gone." Tears swelled up in my eyes, I held them back with all my might.  One thing I learned was never to cry in front of Colly; it was way too awkward.

"We don't have anymore time. Ben said he'd get you in about a month, so keep your nose clean.  I'm forbidden to see you until then and even tonight is a risk.  Oh one more little thing I forgot to mention... me and Picket..."

"..." I stared dumbfounded.

"We got married."
**End Flashback**

I heard the screams and didn't budge. Sharon would ignore this but Cindy wouldn't.  How much longer do I have to be Cindy?

Ana ended up killing one of my co workers, I didn't recognize them but I'm pretty sure that we hadn't had the pleasure of meeting as of yet.  She was killed instantly when captured, under Ben's orders no doubt.  That's the most scary part of my job.  I could be killed at any moment, by my own people or worse...by these savages.  Ana discovered the list, I was curious as to who was on it.  It was my understanding that Eko was meant to be taken, and Libby was supposed to go on the first night along with Eko, but I can see that Eko will require some encouragement, he's so strong, he would be extremely useful to us.

I hate mind games, with Libby and Goodwin I can never tell if its safe to talk.  I feel intimidated by then but at the same time I want to be myself around them.  Pretending to be someone you're not can take a serious toll on your ability to express yourself.  I rubbed my hands together pretending to listen to Ana rant on about "them" and "they", and the children.  Doesn't she understand that the children would RATHER be living in normal houses with caring teachers and mentors than sleeping on the sand of a tropical beach.  I'm beginning to think I'm never returning. I let out a huge sigh and stared blankly into Ana's eyes.  I saw her determination, it scared me to be honest, but I never expected to be here long enough to find out what that determination can spawn.

-End-

[kurtsietz]

Date: Sunday, October 10, 2004

"He wasn't on the plane." she said, above the shouts and pleas of Nathan from the pit Ana had been working on.  This amused me to levels beyond belief.  Here we were, Goodwin, Libby and I standing right in front of Ana and here she is accusing an innocent bystander of being "one of them".  I tried my best not to laugh as I fueled the fire. "We were in there for two hours, and I didn't see him once, not once."

"It's a big plane Ana, just because you didn't-" it pleased me to interrupt Goodwin.

"No, I didn't see him either, I'm pretty good with faces you know, the Passengers, but I did NOT see him."I gave Godwin a satirical look, I was pushing him to his limits, he always had a soft spot for them.

"You're not all serious--" Goodwin interjected, just as I was about to retaliate, Libby stepped in.

"He never talks about himself, Nathan, every time I ask him anything he just dodges." I glanced over at her as she spoke and she gave me a slight smile. I guess she wanted Goodwin's spot as much as I did.

"No, if he really were one of them, why would he still be here." Bernard tried to make peace but Ana was too determined, I guess her days as a cop gave her some false sense of justice. 

"I dunno, but I'm gonna find out."  I almost felt sorry for her, and for Nathan, but then I remembered how much I have suffered to be here and forgot them both.  I know its selfish but I have to start thinking about myself.  Not about Cindy, about ME.

-End-