Prayer Request

[Cliff Ravenscraft]

Kristina,

Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us.  It's been an inspiration to see hear your journey of faith as you experience this loss.  It has been an awesome testimony to me to hear of your grandfather's faith and peace as well.

You will see him again! I'm sure of it!

In Christ,
Cliff

[Kristina24]

Today was the funeral and visitation.  Yesterday we got to see him (he requested a closed casket, so they let the family view him yesterday).  That was extremely difficult.  I have to say that the funeral home did a wonderful job with him.  He looked more like himself (although not 100%...but better than he had looked).  My little 2 year old nephew kept saying "Grandaddy Robert!  Grandaddy Robert!  Grandaddy Robert get up!"  And that broke my heart. 

The funeral home was packed...people had to wait in the lobby and there were no parking spaces at all.  He would have loved it.  We almost didn't have enough room in the family room because our family is so big.  I said he probably was laughing about it.  All that for him...he's smiling for sure.  And it was a good service.  I even learned some things about my grandfather that I didn't know.  Like how he became saved...which I will not put here, but lets just say it was a very touching story.


It is all so unreal right now.  The house seems so quiet, even with all of the people being there (and there have been a ton of people over there)...his voice and his presence is gone and its just not real to me.  I keep thinking that its just not fair.  And I know that he'd be mad with me for thinking that when he knows and I know its all God's plan and so it doesn't matter how fair it is.  Its like a piece of me is missing, and I keep looking for it and its just not there.  Which makes me ache and hurt, because if this is how it feels for me, the grandchild, then I can't even begin to imagine how it is for my aunts, my mom, my grandma...I don't know. 

Tomorrow is the graveside.  I expect it to be difficult as well...so I imagine I will post some more after that.  Thanks for listening to me, and for your kind words and continued prayers. 

[Cliff Ravenscraft]

Kristina,

I continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you are going through this.  I'm glad that it seems to help to have this community to come and share some of these thoughts and feelings.

We'll await your update.

[Geoff Gentry xforce11]

Praying for you and your family now and in the future.

[Kristina24]

Well, we've had the graveside service Monday, and I went back to work Tuesday.  The graveside service was not as bad as I was imagining.  It was short, and the cold was a little distraction.  After the graveside, the church fed the family, and that was nice.  My aunt's birthday was that day, so we all sang her happy birthday.  My great-aunt (Grandaddy's sister) spoke to me when I was getting ready to leave, and told me about something she and Grandaddy had talked about. I'm not going to put that up here because it is personal, but lets just say that my grandaddy worried about me.  He was more observant that I gave him credit for.  I kind of broke down when I heard it, but I thanked her for telling me that.  It made me feel pretty special in a way.

Tuesday, work was really difficult.  Everyone at work kept asking me how I was doing, and how everyone else was doing, and even though I managed my way through it, I was kind of wishing they would leave me alone.  Then, i called Grandma to check on her.  she wasn't home and the answering machine picked up...which had his message on it.  The same message they've had for years upon years, and the same message I picked on him for.  We poke fun at each other alot, but all in fun.  When I heard it...I almost lost it...but I smiled.  I got to hear him...and he was healthy.  I miss that voice.  I hope she keeps it. 

Each day has had its tough moments and is a challenge.  He has not left my thoughts, even though I keep looking for distractions.  I look at his facebook page and look at all the messages left on there from when he was sick...I'm glad he had one.  He was always pretty tech savy. 

I miss him.