569 PABL – The Dark & BRIGHT Days of December 2013

by Cliff Ravenscraft on December 28, 2013

in The Old Pursing A Balanced Life Podcast

In this episode of Pursuing A Balanced Life, I share another update on my pursuit of a balanced life.

Subscribe To Pursuing A Balanced Life Podcast
iTunes RSS Feed

  • LourdesWelhaven

    Probably my favorite episode of PABL this year.  Clearly, I like the impromptu, off-the-cuff musings.  Mostly, I like this episode because I know so many of us can relate to it.  This time of year is difficult on many differing levels for everyone I think – we are imperfect with varied pasts, losses, sources of grief, etc…that seem particularly painful during this happy time of the year. This time of year can be a challenge for me too…so I can relate.
    With that said, I love the bright spots of this recording.  I’m glad that you and yours are reaping the financial rewards and the time rewards that you all have sacrificed so much for. 

    Many blessings to you, Stephanie and your kiddos and best wishes for continued and even greater success in all areas of your lives, in 2014 and beyond.

  • LourdesWelhaven Thank you so much Lourdes!  I really appreciate you and certainly this feedback from this particular episode. ;)

  • Cliff, thanks for sharing what you’re going through. I heard you mention your father briefly on FFTH, and was interested in hearing what you’re going through. 
    I can relate. Let’s just say I had some… well, resentments with my father. Desperately wanting some type of deep emotional connection. My father worked so much when I was growing up, it was my mother who taught me a lot of the things a father typically does; e.g. throwing a baseball, building a tree house.
    You mentioned trying to stay ’emotionally unattached’, something that makes sense logically, but as we know the longest distance in the world is the 12 inches between our head and our heart.
    People often say ‘family is everything.’ And although family is important, we have a right to include people in our lives that bring value. Although I wanted this deep connection with my father, I finally accepted that he was not going to change, it was up to me to http://jaredakers.com/learning-my-fathers-love-language/. 
    It was up to me to accept the relationship for what it was, and be OK with that. That took a lot of work on myself more than anything else. But luckily I had the opportunity to accomplish that in time.
    In 2010 my father passed away suddenly. I’d accepted the way he was, which didn’t mean I had to like it. :-) But thank God I had a chance to deal with my ‘father’ issues and reach this place of acceptance before he passed. 
    As for wanting to ‘want to be present’, that’s something I still work on myself. Meditation has helped me with this a lot. OH, and a lot of therapy and 12 step programs! LOL 
    “Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves – regret for the past and fear of the future.”
    – Fulton Oursler
    You are a provider, a teacher, and committed to making the world a better place. For yourself, others, and most importantly your family. It’s normal to get in a funk, I still do… and sometimes it’s a pretty deep gloom, as in “what’s all this for or matter anyway?” 
    That’s when I share the feelings with my wife, look in her eyes, and remind myself this could all be gone in the blink of an eye. Sometimes I take action like writing a gratitude list, maybe a little more prayer (which for me always means hitting my knees as it’s an action of humility and surrender).
    The most important thing is to feel all of these emotions. And accept we’re NOT our emotions. They’re neither right or wrong, just feel them and this too shall pass. 
    OK, I apologize for this extremely long comment as I know you’re really busy. :-)  
    One last thought, one interesting theory I’m exploring is “raising our idling speed.” In that as emotional creatures, our minds tend to attach more significance to moments that are charged either high or low on our emotional scale. Yet the majority of life happens in moments which some would consider boring. (neither high or low emotionally). The goal is to learn to raise our idling speed in these moments from boredom (and resisting the urge to fill them with work or other tasks) to experiencing relative contentment and happiness.

  • jaredakers Jared, thank you so much for taking the time to share your reactions and your own experiences with me.  I really value that.  I’m currently at a place where I’ve got back to the emotional distance from the situation and I, for whatever reason, feel that this is what I want at this time.  If God should do something to change my heart on this, I’ll trust He’ll make it happen.  We’ll see.  It’s a journey for sure.

Previous post:

Next post: