I just recently released episode number of the “My Crazy Life” podcast where I recorded my thoughts and prayer for Matthew just before taking him to the hospital to have his tonsils removed. He did so extremely well that I am certain that it is just a direct answer to prayer.
It was an emotional day for me yesterday. Here are some words that I typed as Stephanie and I were sitting with Matthew in the recovery room.
I'm sitting in the recovery room at the Children's Hospital in Cincinnati, Ohio. As I sit here, I wonder why it that is that men aren't supposed to cry. Why do I seem conflicted as to whether it is a sign of weakness/fear rather than my tears being a sign of the deep compassion and love for my young son.
Being a father is one of the most difficult things that I have ever embarked on in my journey in my life. Being a father is something that I would not trade for anything. However, being a father is the single most important task for which I sometimes feel completely inadequate to carry out. It's only by the Grace of our God that I feel that I can do for my children all that I am called to do as a father.
Just over an hour ago, I watched my son breathe into a little mask as a gaseous medication caused my little man to fall asleep. He was so brave as he held my hand. The amount of courage my son showed as he was wheeled to the operating preparation room and as he breathed in the anesthesia showed me the amount of trust he had in me as his father. That kind of trust is something I wonder if I worthy of. It chokes me up to think of this young man and how he feels about his dad!
Of course, I didn't want to let go of his small hand. After just a short moment or two he was completely asleep and it was time for him to be wheeled into the sterile Operating Room environment. Stephanie were shown to the waiting area where twenty minutes passed by like two. Literally before we knew it, our name was being called.
It went by so quickly that a very brief thought of worry crossed my mind, did something terrible happen? But no, Matthew's surgery was complete. We had a short talk with one of the doctor's assistants who said Matthew did great and he was in the recovery room and that when he was abotu to wake, we would be called back to join him.
Yet again, what seemed like two or three minutes was actually another twenty. We walked around the corner of the recovery area where we saw that Matthew was disoriented from waking up in a strange place. When we entered the room, he was in quite a bit of pain and Stephanie was very quick to take him into her arms to comfort him.
After getting a little medication for the pain, a few drinks of iced apple juice, and an orange pop-cycle, Matthew was calmed down. That is when I began to type this.
We are about to move into a private recovery room in just a few moments. The procedure is now complete and we are just praying that the next two weeks go smoothly and quickly for our little guy and that he will soon be reaping the benefits of no longer being bothered by those enlarged tonsils.
All prayers are welcomed for a speedy recovery.
That is what I wrote yesterday with tearn filling my eyes. Matthew has been absolutlely amazing since. We brought him home and as a side effect of the anesthesia and the “ride” home, he did get sick just inches from the linolium and instead got the carpeted stairs. It took quite some time for me to be able to get all the colors from the pop-cycles and slushies out, but I think I did finally do a satisfactory job. From that point forward, Matthew wanted to run, jump, and play. Not only that, he wanted to eat everything under the sun!
We are doing our best to have him take it easy. To not try to do too much. Yet, as long as he gets his medication on time, you'd never know that he had his tonsils removed. The doctor and nurses expalined that the back of his throat is going to go through some of the changes they explained to us but I will withold from explaining here. I realize that some of the more difficult days may actually be ahead of us.
Last night, Matthew and I slept together on the couch. I found myself waking every hour or so just to check on him, to ask if he wanted a drink to keep his throat moist, etc. It was the first night that I can ever remember him not snoring. I'm afraid that if Stephanie were to hear him sleeping, that she will send me to the hospital next to have this procedure done.
I love my son so much and I'm so thankful that we have doctors and medications that help improve the quality and length of our lives.
The only hard thing about yesterday was spending so much focused on my little guys, that my little girls probably felt like they had been put on the back burner. I woke our oldest daughter up this morning and spend some great quality time talking with her before I left for work.
I sure do love my family!